Monday, March 25, 2013

I Hate the Flu

The flu hit our house this weekend. Yuck. The studio is closed today and tomorrow, but I need to blog and return a few phone calls and email inquiries. So, here I am working for a few hours in my pajamas. This really isn't the time for me to get sick.  We have our business relaunch in a week and there is much to do. Isn't that how it goes though?

Last week, I got to be the model while working with a girl with some raw photography talent. We worked on some basic posing. Next week, I am going to teach her my style of shooting under instead of over. Shooting under gives more of a high-fashion look to portraits. She did really well for her first time in studio though. I am going to use one of the pics she shot of me as a profile picture. Yes, the photo you are about to see is really me.

Now, before you gaze upon me, I want to share a bit. There are not many photos of me. From the last 7 years or so. I gained quite a bit of weight after my youngest was born. I was ashamed of how I looked. I was in a group photo last summer, and I cried because of how fat I was. So, I made a decision to change that. I have lost about 50 pounds since last summer. There is still weight to be lost to get me to my target weight. So getting photos taken of me is a huge step for me. And I owe thanks to Sue Bryce. That woman gave a keynote on fear that focused on self-hate. She really kicked me in the gut. I was a hypocrite. I am constantly telling women to get their photographs taken - no matter their size, or how they think they look. I tell them to get these moments captured for their children. I tell them to get these portraits to see the beauty that others see in them. Total hypocrite. Never once did I take my own advice. My children love me. They want photos of me. My husband loves me. He wants photos of me. After listening to Sue Bryce, I had to spend several days searching deep within myself to acknowledge and let go of the self-hate that was living inside of me. So, yeah, I am heavier than I want to be. I am working on that. But, right now, I am rocking what I have. The shape of my body doesn't change who I am inside. My children want to have photos of me now. So, I am rocking it. And, let me tell you what happened when I looked at my photos. At first I was surprised by the lines around my eyes. Then, I realized how much I love those lines. The way I love the little lines in the faces of the women I photograph. I know how to find the beauty in everyone. I know how to draw it out. I know how to capture it. And I finally found the beauty in me - and I love it.

So, here I am. I am not perfect, but I am the best ME there is. And I rock it!

Stay Marvelous!
Brianna

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful! Love it, love you. You're doing great, on everything! :)
    Melissa

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